After one successful post it's been about two weeks. Why the lack of material? Because there is nothing to talk about. All of these informational booklets come in the mail and then life gets in the way. They've been sitting on my kitchen counter for days. I wish someone could just say, "This is what I did and it went great." Obviously it is almost never this easy or there wouldn't be so many adoption support groups out there. Rose just went down for a nap and I still have some of my iced coffee left to drink. Maybe today is the day to sort through these packets.

Ever since my husband, Robert, and I started talking about adoption, I have had so many thoughts swirling in my head. I decided to start this blog to help prevent some of these thoughts from continuing to block out more important things I want to concentrate on. I should back up a bit...

Our daughter, Rose, was born in March 2012. She drove us crazy as a newborn; partly from crying for hours at a time and partly due to my postpartum depression. I know I bonded with her on a certain level from the very beginning, but it wasn't until I sought help for my mental and physical state that I felt our relationship truly took off. The past six months have been the most amazing months I can remember in a very long time. I fall more in love with my daughter every day and could not imagine life without her.

Herein lies the problem. For the first year or so it was easy for my husband and I to swear to each other we would never have another child. We felt we were suffering from new parent PTSD and questioned how we could ever do it again! Then Rose showed us all of our hard work was paying off. She makes us laugh on a daily basis, she's kind, observant, adorable, and the love of our lives. If we could make a copy of her, we probably would; minus the terrible two's tantrum phase she's going through right now. 😉

We began to think it wouldn't be so bad to have another child. We want to be a family of four, for us and for Rose. She recently held a one week old baby and the way her face lit up was priceless. She deserves to have a sibling. Sure, the "new baby" excitement might wear off, but think about what comes after that? The good stuff! Robert's niece and nephew are three and five. Even at this young age they share an amazing bond and DJ is already looking out for his little sister. Rose would make a fantastic big sister. It's weird to say, but she's already exhibiting maternal qualities!

Unfortunately, after a few months of talking with several doctors, Robert and I came to the conclusion that it would be best for me not to go through another pregnancy (damn you chronic health issues!!). Which brings us to where we are now, ADOPTION. I began researching some options and here is what we know so far. We want domestic. We want an infant. That's about it. There are so many things to read and research it is overwhelming! This is where this wonderful blog comes in. I don't really care if anyone ever reads it, but if they do I hope it can help someone who is feeling these same feelings. I want you to know you're not alone in this journey which is sure to be a roller coaster.

The biggest thing is I just want to try to enjoy the ride of life with Robert and Rose while we try to find the best option out there for us. Hopefully it will mean making our little trio a family of four. If it doesn't, I don't want to look back and regret missing out on times with my family and friends because I was focused on a baby who was never meant to be mine.

I should probably stop now. One of the things I read on a "How to Start a Blog" site was that blogs generally involve brief posts. Until next time....